Mike Kueber's Blog

August 19, 2012

Back on eHarmony

Filed under: Relationships — Mike Kueber @ 5:29 pm
Tags: , ,

Not surprisingly, since my son Jimmy moved to Steubenville, Ohio earlier in the week, my life seems to have a 230-pound void, and as we all learned back in science class, nature abhors a vacuum.  Perhaps that is what prompted me to go back on eHarmony after a few months on the sidelines. 

As I was reviewing some of my “matches” yesterday, I noticed one had a refreshingly simple list of desirable traits for her mate – she called it the “four S’s”: smart, single, straight, and sane.  When I was previously on eHarmony, my wish list was a bit longer – smart, considerate, energetic, honorable, disciplined, physically fit, joyful, curious, philosophical, passionate, and sexually attractive. 

But everyone knows that the size of the list doesn’t matter, but instead it is the quality of the list.  For example, I have a drinking friend who discovered the love of his life a couple of years ago, and based on that discovery, he has distilled the three essential components to a soulmate-esque relationship, which he calls his “CBS” traits:

  1. Conservative.  Must be a political conservative.
  2. Booze.  Must enjoy drinking booze.
  3. Sports.  Must love watching sports on TV.

Unfortunately, there are not enough of those women to go around. 

All of these lists remind me of that old Tom T. Hall song about “faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, and more money.”


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