Mike Kueber's Blog

November 30, 2013

She Said “No.”

Filed under: Relationships — Mike Kueber @ 5:16 am

There is a country song titled, “She Said Yes” by Chad Brock.  It’s about a guy who meets a girl at his old apartment, and after a brief visit, he asks if he can see her again – “She said yes; I said wow!”  Later in the song, he pops the question and, “She said yes; I said wow!”  Well, a few days ago I asked a girl if I could see her again, and although her response didn’t include the word “no,” it wasn’t yes.

So how do I feel?

For the past few months I haven’t been interested in dating, and I’ve had a few friends tell me that I need to get back into the game.  They feel that a man without a woman is incomplete.  One even referred me to a biblical quotation for support.

I’m not so sure.  Many years ago I noticed that my favorite movies invariably had the man losing the woman – Casablanca, Liberty Valence, Gone with the Wind, and Shane.  So maybe there’s something in me that prefers being the person who loses the woman and leaves to someone else the work needed to maintain a relationship.

Despite my reservations about attempting to maintain a relationship, I feel the peer pressure to try, especially if the potential mate is a really exceptional person.  Based on a consensus developed at the Mira Vista pool this summer, “exceptional” means someone who is attractive, intelligent, personable, and warm.

In the past few weeks, I have gotten to know two exceptional women, and one of them appeared to be available, so I decided to apply the old saying that you will often regret things you didn’t try, but you will rarely regret things that you did try.  So I asked this person out, even though I thought that the chances of a positive response were in the 30%-40% range.

In hindsight, I’m glad I did, but I’m also not very disappointed that she didn’t say yes.  I don’t mind being in the company of Rick Blaine, Tom Doniphon, Rhett Butler, and Shane.


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