A couple of years ago, I encountered a large San Antonio cycling club as their peloton was rolling along the 1604 access road just as I was starting my bike ride. I tagged along and later became a Facebook friend with one of them. Then that friendship resulted in friendships with two other club members – single, beautiful females – who are the subject of this blogpost.
Shortly after becoming friends, the first woman posted on Facebook a poster bragging that single mothers were responsible for raising the last two Democratic presidents. As someone who is disinclined to let glib liberalisms pass without comment, I pointed out that the poster was factually wrong (Obama and Clinton had been raised with the help of stepdads and grandparents) and scientifically wrong (studies consistently find that kids do better with two parents). My new friend was offended because she was a single mom and was not looking for analysis but rather support. Although I apologized, she unfriended me. That seem like a perfect example of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
My relationship with the second woman was much better. In fact, we went out a few times and seemed to enjoy each other’s company. But she was clearly an Alpha, and I decided that that was not what I was looking for. We stayed in contact occasionally through Facebook, and it was a relationship I enjoyed – until this week.
Last week she posted a photo showing a bad knee injury. Her knee was badly scraped, and I assumed that she had been involved in a bike crash, but she later revealed that she had fallen as a pedestrian. Then this week, she posted another close-up picture from a dressy affair, and her knee looked much better. I commented on the improvement, and noted that she probably had enough tomboy (and Marine) in her to feel proud of the battle scars she earns while living life to the fullest. (She had actually served in the Marines for several years right out of high school.)
Suddenly, two days later, she responded to my comment:
- “I don’t know you well; one reason for that is that you came across as very argumentative, challenging, offensive, brassy & basically rude. You don’t know me well either, much less to call me names such as tomboy or pass judgment of my lifestyle. I have not given you a reason, either, to be anything less than a gentleman with me. I suggest you edit your communication & postings with me to meaningful conversations & interactions without the aid of name calling & otherwise, or remove yourself altogether.”
I responded to her as follows:
- I have never considered tomboy to be anything but a compliment. Tomboy – ‘a girl who enjoys rough, noisy activities traditionally associated with boys.’”
She didn’t respond, but she didn’t unfriend me either. Going forward, though, there doesn’t appear to be any left to salvage here.
After consulting with several friends about this, all I can say is that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.